Today is my birthday. I’m at the fertility clinic. I’m not sure if that makes it a good, birthday or not. Anyway, I guess it could always be worse. I don’t know how i really feel about being here. I’ve heard of infertility, but no one I ever knew, actually “had it”.
So, here i am.
It’s kinda awkward. I came here for an ultrasound, there isn’t anything awkward about that. I’ve had million of them. My name is Mi Mi and I think I am infertile. That is the first time, I have really ever said that. My mommy thinks that talking about it, will manifest into having it, and every girl I know (besides possibly 3) has a baby or has been pregnant. No one wants to talk about me.
Ironically, a lady here has two of the most terrible kids in here that I have ever seen. They keep saying “let’s go mama”. Thats how I feel. Like everybody keeps saying “let’s go Mi Mi”. No one wants to come here, little girls (of that lady). If someone is here I can assure you, its not because they want to be, this is a last resort. If mommy is here, mommy is most likely pretty sick. It’s sad that the girls harass her, and us too. I bet she could use a break and some understanding.
I hear at my ultrasound that I possibly have a polyp on my uterus. WTH! Seriously?!!? I have had a million appointments, with a million different doctors. Why havent I heard about it before! The violation, The horror, I mean what is wrong with this thing?!? Why doesnt it ever freaking work!!! I wish I had a new vajayjay.
These kids are bad. This is not the place for bad kids. It’s kinda disrespectful to us. As far as I can tell, I cannot have kids, the last thing I want to hear is “my butt hur-ts”, from yours.
In addition to that, why did I not notice before I went to the exam room,
There are no black women here?!?
Going to the doctor is trying enough. I’m sure people are wondering what is wrong with me. I’m wondering that when I see them. My first thought is ” is it as bad as mine?” Anyway, back to the black thing…I think I’m on to something. Is it possible I’m not the only one? No one ever looks any other way but sad when they hear about me. But are there others? Maybe this journey will reveal more than I thought. We shall see.
Until next time.
Pingback: Tweets that mention BrokenBrownBelle- “Happy Birthday To Me” | The Broken Brown Egg -- Topsy.com
so lively, almost like I was sitting there with you as we both “grin and bare it” while in the doctors office. I hope that you and I both find our way to a healthy pregnacy soon. Cant wait to hear more. 🙂
Ugh, I’m so sorry your experience was not what it should have been. Hopefully through blogging and outreach like you’re doing, you’ll dispel some of the stigma in the black community about infertility and spread the word that help is out there, and that there are clinics working hard to make the experience more welcoming for everyone. Looking forward to reading more, and hang in there – you’re not alone.
Pingback: Tweets that mention BrokenBrownBelle- “Happy Birthday To Me” | The Broken Brown Egg -- Topsy.com
Thank everybody for the kind words, of encouragement. I love doing this, thank you so much for reading 🙂
Belle
Been there before and was the only black girl in that room and probably the youngest! It was a lonely feeling! Then when I got my BFP and was graduating to an OB, I saw another young black lady like myself. I hugged her, told her about my journey, and she smiled. Yet another confirmation that this journey has a purpose! In addition to beautiful babies, I pray that you use these visits as empowerment visits! Smile at the babies in there as they may have been visiting the Dr. that helped their Mommy conceive them. Envision bringing your baby or baby picture in to say “WE DID IT” to your RE team. KNOW that you’re not alone in this journey even if you’re alone in that office at that time. Read the resources at the office and chat with the staff! Focus on the fact that YOU’RE ONE STEP CLOSER to BEATING infertility. That polyp has nothing on you. Blessings on your journey!!!
Thank you wey! I appreciate the kind thoughs. And I will in fact invision myself tearing “this” what ever that may be, down.
My husband and I have been trying for about 18 months now and we still have no baby. I don’t want to do IVF or anything like that. I’d like to stay natural if I can.
Does anyone one know how you can increase your fertility or chances of conceiving?
Hey Bergitta! Each person is different, depending on what is causing their infertility. Have you and your husband had tests to determine what is the main issue?