So, to tally…I’ve had
four doctors,
Five changes of thyroid meds
Two ultrasounds
Three misdiagnoses
One cycle of Clomid
Two cycles of Metformin
A husband being diagnosed with diabetes
One referral
25lbs lost
12 lbs regained
Three books read
One blog
800+ fans
and three 1/2 years of this journey.
I wonder how many bouts with infertility have been prolonged because of fear. Just because things haven’t worked yet, doesn’t mean you should stop trying. I totally understand that often the discouragement is intense, but you have to keep moving.
I owe a great deal of my peace of mind to my blog,…
This experience has been a sky-dive with a parachute that has a small hole in it. LOL I dip and fall and coast and float and scream, and smile, and yell….but for the amount of women I get to help…I wouldn’t trade it. At all.
But I’ve come a long way.
I still have my small hurdles. Holding other people’s babies, thinking of myself as a mom,etc. But I’m getting better.
The peace of mind that I have is a direct result of understanding the purpose behind all of this. I truly believe that God gave this fight to me so that I would pick it and speak about it.
I am constantly humbled when I’m reminded of the people who have come out of this thing either sucessfully with children, or childless by choice, etc., but still won’t speak about it. The reasons are many, but primarily, nobody wants to be “defined” by their fertility. Nobody wants people feeling sorry for them. A few don’t want their baby to know how hard it was for them to get here. Many are actually ashamed.
I’m just floored that people feel that way, but also grateful to God for finding yet another way to tell me how brave I can be when I need to be. For a while I joked that I was unwillingly becoming the scapegoat for all things black infertility. And I laughed.
Now, I don’t laugh.
I’m proud.
I’m proud that I have this courage.
I’m proud that I have this ability to change a part of the world.
I’m proud that my words could actually bring LIVES into this world for other families.
I’m humbled and extremely grateful for this experience. As weird as that even sounds, it is soo very true.
