The following was submitted by a friend of the BBE. It gives a glimpse into her struggle with infertility and gives a brief definition of another unknown hurdle, Hostile Cervical Mucus. The Broken Brown thanks and salutes you Moe!
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I
didn’t walk alone …
On July 8, 2005 my walk turned into a run. It was the day after two years of natural trying for conception that I was diagnosed with Hostile CM. What’s funny, or not so funny is just prior to that I had been joking about CMWA (Cervical Mucus with an Attitude). I had read about it and thought, surely you’ve got to be kidding. You know that saying “from my lips to God’s ears”, I wanted to cry but laughter was a better choice as I could see God was sharing his sense of humor with me. Below is my post from that diagnosis and from there I proceeded through 3 IUI’s before conceiving twins on my 4th IUI.
Hostile CM
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Okay, I needed a place to have my say and just be done with it.
First let me say that TTC is fun “at first” when your dreams of making a baby flow naturally and easily. Your think in terms of pink and blue and the conception of a healthy baby after a few romantic romps with your hubby.
But as time progresses and the BFN becomes your monthly initials you are rocked by emotions. Mine were always “where’s my baby and what is wrong with me and I hope I didn’t wait too late”.
I am thankful that I’ve never had the jealousies or sad feelings for anyone else pregnant or having had a child. I can’t even explain the whys of that, I think it really borders on the fact that I always want to see other people happy and that when my time does come, I am going to need that same type of support because I don’t want to try and hide my joy.
That being said, I still ask “where’s my baby?” Well after two years of trying to conceive and a battery of tests, I find out today that my cervical mucus is too thick? You could have knocked me over with an eyelash. I’m still stunned. Everything else is fine but the damn mucus has an attitude, it has the NERVE to be HOSTILE! I tell you if I didn’t have a true WTF moment when the doctor told me that then I don’t know who did.
All of that to say, I’ve got two really good follicles that have formed and they gave me a shot to produce an eggie in the morning and that’s where the big news comes in …
IUI in the morning, we are by passing the CMWA aka Cervical Mucus with an Attitude and I just pray that we catch the eggie.
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The BBE would like to celebrate the fact that the above statements resulted in an awesome and beautiful little lady who has recently turned three years old! Though things were by no way easy and they did result in more trials, I find it an awesome and important thing to show that infertility and its counterparts are NOT final verdicts on any story. Even the most aggressive, unexpected and hostile circumstances can still fall to the wayside when God has a bigger plan in store. That, if nothing else, is something I seriously need to be reminded of quite often. Thanks again for sharing with us.