How I Came By My Dog…and what I learned from her.

The great IF can be extremely lonely.  Even for those of us fortunate enough to have a supportive partner or spouse, it can often feel like one of the most isolating experiences one has ever had the misfortune of enduring.  For my husband and I, it sometimes became more divisive when we were actively “trying” than when we were casually planning.  He felt like I was obsessing, and I felt like he wasn’t obsessing enough.   Eventually, things just get to a real low point.

Two years ago, we hit that point.

Try as he might, and he did try, my poor dude just couldn’t cheer me up.  I was uncomfortable in my own skin and unhappy with the amount of failures that were piling up for us reproductively.  And as cliche as it seems, I was suddenly overcome with the desire to take care of something.  To feel important and necessary.

We went out looking for a dog.

Now before you start rolling your eyes and saying, “a dog doesn’t take the place of a baby!”, hold on and see where this is going.  I promise you I have a point. LOL

We visited three of the local shelters looking for our new pet.  When we finally visited the Anti-Cruelty Society, I was pretty much convinced that there was no amazing dog.   I was prepared to suck it up and head home.  And then my husband pointed at this little cage.  “How about this one, G?  I like her.”  He said.

Sasha was her name, and she was cute at first glance, but I wasn’t quite sure.  She was a small dog like I’d wanted, and was house-trained, which was an added plus, but still I just wasn’t completely “sure”.  While all the other dogs were yipping and barking, frustrated with their current location, she sat quietly in her cage.  She was directly beside an angry little Chihuahua who was making all kinds of noise, yet Sasha was unmoved.

I was still deciding whether I liked her enough to take her out for a short walk, when my eyes landed on the description beside her name plate.

“Surrendered by owner due to owner’s pregnancy”

That did it.  Pregnancy and the lack thereof had brought both of us into this place at this time, and I couldn’t leave her there.  It was as though this dog was placed here for me.  Silently, I decided right then and there that this little dog was coming home with us.  Screw pregnancy, I thought, for jacking up her life and mine.  We would become each other’s lemonade.  We would heal each other from the pain pregnancy had brought to both of us.
So why am I telling you this?
Do I want you to run out and get a pet or a hobby to soothe some of your pain?
Absolutely not.
The point of this little story is a simple one, I promise.
And it goes a little something like this:

I took away two things from my first meeting with the amazing Sasha Fierce:

1. No matter how or where pregnancy has you cornered…face the future calmly.  Sasha had to be afraid, surrounded by people and animals she didn’t know after living with an owner who had cared for her.  While all the other dogs wailed and howled, she sat in that little cage with her tongue still wagging, SURE that she would soon be back in a home.

2.However you may be feeling, know that fate is lining up on your behalf.  There is a healing somewhere.  When you are at your lowest, and you feel as though the path is somehow wrong, have faith that something will happen to change things.  There is a reason for everything, and your pain may be used to bless someone (or in my case some-canine) else.   My lowest point gave me an amazing dog.  Yours may get you something else entirely but whatever it does get you, I hope you find it JUST what you need at the time.

Seriously, I’m so glad her other owner got pregnant. LOL  This dog totally rocks.  She’s always there with a post-BFN snuggle, and I kid you not, it’s as though she knows when I’m feeling most discouraged.