FertileKwanzaa – Nia & Kuumba: Creativity in Purpose

Originally Published 12.31.10 @ 9:56am

Habari Ghani?!

Nia & Kuumba!

Kwanzaa day five(yesterday) was Nia, which means Purpose. As we walk the tightrope of fertility feelings, this is the thought that may become hardest to pinpoint. While I was totally perturbed yesterday when my server wouldn’t let me get my post out to you, as I thought about today’s principle, I realized that it was probably a divine,…well,… purpose, that may have led to that delay.

Today’s principle is Kuumba which means creativity. As I thought about the combination of Nia and Kuumba, I was stuck for a moment as I tried to think about how these two principles have affected my journey. I grasped the concept of Nia instantly because if there is anything that I have eventually come to terms with, it is my purpose in this journey. I have come to believe wholeheartedly that the reason for my issues with fertility, are rooted in my being here for you. I feel that I deal with this issue so that I can help you deal with yours. That thought gives me peace.

{In more divine confirmation, as I was writing this last paragraph, I was also watching reruns of Big Love that I borrowed from the library and the character on-screen said, “Honey, there are tricks to feeling better about yourself, and doing thoughtful things for others is a good start” WHOA!!}

But anyway, back to the post.

Finding a creative way to “do thoughtful things for others“, was/is hard. When you’re feeling least like yourself and uncomfortable in your skin, it is actually the least of your concerns. I understand. Though, if we’re being honest I gotta tell you, it helps. I know that with today being New Year’s Eve, you are probably up to your neck in resolution ideas, but I would like for you to think on one more. I want you to promise yourself that whatever your gift is, that you will consider using it for the healing and enrichment of yourself and others. While I believe that there is not one creative outlet that cannot be helpful in this area, here are just a few ideas:

Scrap-book: If you scrapbook, use those skills to document your journey or make friendly custom greeting cards to brighten another infertile’s day. Many stores that sell craft supplies will have some hidden jewels that you would never have considered. I found a page a year ago with this quote: “Before you were conceived…I wanted you.Before you were born…I loved you.Before you were here an hour…I would die for you.This is the miracle of life.” THAT one is tucked away in my scrap-booking bin as affirmation that I will use it one day. For more ideas, check out this post about scrapping your infertility journey! I also came across this really cool Squidoo on Scrapbooking adoption, this post or these layouts. It’s exactly what it sounds like, and has dozens of ideas for chronicling your adoption process through scrap-booking including sheets to order! Pretty amazing if you ask me.

Start a Hope journal: A hope journal is somewhere between a scrapbook and a vision board. Basically, you get a binder or journal and begin jotting down every hopeful quote, picture or idea that pops into your head. Use your amateur photography skills to snap photos of things that give you hope and paste them into the pages. Copy the lyrics of songs that inspire you into a word doc. Chance them to a color of your choice and then print out the page to place inside your journal. Write letters to the child you don’t yet have. Tell them how much you are looking forward to them being a part of your life, and how you feel as you await news of their coming. Whenever you’re feeling down, flip through the pages of your hope journal to get you back on track.

Get Crafty: The only downside to making friends in the infertility community is that every day is a rough one for someone. We’re all at different stages of our anticipation or grief and that begins to wear us down after a while. The best part of making friends here, is that we are sometimes the only ones who “get it”. Take a trip to the local craft store, or dollar store if you’re thrifty like me, and grab a few baskets. Fill them with pampering things like soaps and candles, or you can even choose a theme: Spa, Wine & Cheese, etc. Wrap the basket in colorful plastic and tie it off with a bow or straw and then send it to a friend or two who you know may need a little pick-me-up.

Start a blog of your own!: When I tell you that this blog is therapeutic, I am NOT exaggerating. The time I spend searching for pictures, or thinking of what to write about next, all helps me get my mind off of ME. Trust me when I say that this is something I appreciate with every fiber of my being. (And then come back and tell me so I can link to you!)

All of these things, while they are helpful and beneficial to you, will undeniably be a blessing to someone else. I can promise you. Whatever your personal creativity, I truly hope you take the time to share it. Come back and tell me all about it!

This past year has been awesome, and I truly believe that I owe it to the fact that I used my Nia(purpose) AND Kuumba(creativity) to alleviate some of the pain of infertility. This blog was a huge part of that, but the other way was through our first formal event! To showcase that particular Nia/Kuumba moment, I am closing this post with more pictures from the A.H.A Gala this past September.

But first, let me just say it has been my absolute honor to rant, rave, cry, share, and learn with you this year. Your presence means more to me than you know. I used to get bummed about not having a lot of comments on my posts, (blogger confession), but I’ve started to look at my blog’s statistics, and I see that there are a LOT of you who visit here almost daily. I thank you for that. Whether you never say a thing to me, I know you’ve been here and that is enough. You have helped me heal and made me think about a lot of things that I would have run from prior to having this home on the web. HAPPY NEW YEAR, Eggshells! If nobody else tells you this morning, I LOVE YOU, and I am so GLAD you spent this year with me.

*Feel free to click the pictures to see them full size. Be forewarned, they are huge, LOL*