Beyonce, JayZ, and What If It isn’t that easy?

It boggles my mind how effortlessly people fall into ignorance.

They practically WILL a child into Beyonce’s womb without EVER ONCE thinking that there is a possibility that someone that young, that beautiful, that rich, that perfect, may NOT be able to “JUST GET PREGNANT”.
Beyonce is one month older than me.
Though she works harder than me at it and has a rigorous slew of trainers and performances to keep it in check, she has been quoted as saying that she also has to WORK on her weight.
She is married to Sean Carter, who rap-career aside, is a 39 year old man.
They both made the Forbes list last year and together…well..let’s just say they could buy me twice, sell me back to my husband when they felt like it and have change left over.
At this point in their lives, from my view, they’ve pretty much DONE everything they could have ever dreamed of doing.  Hell, Jay is even teaching Bey to drive.

So, all that to say,

“PEOPLE, IF SEAN AND BEYONCE CARTER WANTED TO BE PREGNANT…

 

THEY COULD DARN WELL HAVE DONE THAT BY NOW.”

Once people get that thought in their heads and stop taking up residence on the executive boards of other folks uteri, we could begin realizing that things aren’t as simple as they seem, and because they aren’t…get a clue to what might be insensitivity!

I spend a lot of time with my niece.  She makes my world turn EVERY Friday.
Though I’m CERTAIN, my infertility fight will not be permanent, I do love that right now, there are parts of me that I see in her (smart mouth especially). Even when I couldn’t BEAR to be around other babies, my niece helped me to overcome that hurdle because she provided me with hope.  Seeing my nose, hearing my attitude, and noticing the pure joy on her face when she yells out “GINA!”,..brought/brings some much needed fertility therapy to me.

So when I see Beyonce with Julez, I’m not so fast to want her and Jay to get pregnant.  I see the joy of her being an aunt, and I also see the void that Julez could possibly be filling in her life.
What I also see, which I wish OTHERS would, is the pressure that blasting all over the internet how much the entire world is waiting on her to get pregnant could be devastating if she in fact was having trouble doing so.
When Project IF came about,…I wasn’t entirely sure I would participate, because I’m trying so hard to spread HOPE this week, and getting real about what some of my “what-if’s” would be, was a hurdle.   But there was something about this Beyonce thing that just got me fired up into one.

I wish society would get that part.
I wish my community would get that part.
If I tried to count the number of women I know personally who’ve survived a miscarriage, I would run out of fingers.

This is a serious issue that we as a community take far too lightly.
I’m tired of my community laughing and joking about our pitfalls and then ignoring our discrepancies.
I am sad to say that I am a part of an ethnic community that laughs openly about infertility but never discusses it head-on.
I am sad to say that I am a part of an ethnic community that deals with impaired fecundity more often than we know.

Just yesterday, for the Twitter campaign, I tried to contact the many celebs I follow through my personal twitter account.  I contacted Sherri Shepherd, Michael Baisden, Steve Harvey, etc.

ONE celeb responded.  Fatin of KindredtheFamilySoul.

I am grateful to him, but saddened that others chose to tweet about which zodiac signs were more compatible and others just ignored me altogether.

I know this post went in a few different directions.  But I have to say it is because this fight is one that is on my heart so heavy that I can’t get over it.  If I got pregnant tomorrow, I would NEVER stop fighting for people to get how real this thing truly is.

To Mrs.Carter, who I WISH would be that example of a proud married woman to these young black girls, but that’s another story,

From one star-crossed auntie to another, continue to bathe in the joy of your nephew! I wouldn’t wish infertility on anyone, and I hope that this is not your battle. I pray that your choice to not have children right now is just that, a choice, and that when you’re ready, you and your husband create the family of your dreams.

I also hope, that people will learn to think of the “what-if’s” that are plaguing 1 in 8 others…

What is my “what-if?”, you ask?

What if my dream for a family, is not my destiny.
But more importantly,
What if that destiny is to instead make OTHERS realize these important things?

See hundreds of other What If’s here: Project What If
Take Charge of your Fertility! – Take Charge!
Teaching Others – Fertility 101