Archive of ‘Guest Posts’ category

Opening The Door on…Parenting After Infertility

Opening The Door On - Parenting After InfertilityThe following is an anonymous submission for The Egg’s 2015 National Infertility Awareness Week Blog Project, #BehindClosedDoors.  Most people assume that this is all about babies.  Not many people stop to think about what takes place after the babies are born.  Does the doubt ever go away?  The fear?  Not for many.

Here’s another look behind the door.


So everything will be fine once you have that baby. Right? Is what I thought. I think that’s a thought we all have. I’d be super mom and every heartache, depressed mood, crying episode would disappear as quickly as they came. But of course life is never that simple with infertility.

I guess the bottom line is that any experience that has had a life-altering affect, never really leaves you. The fire is gone but the smell is still there.

I guess it was naive of me to think something that held up my life for nearly 10 years would just disappear so easily.

Several thoughts play in my head over and over again on a regular basis. I often have thoughts that people are judging me through a different lens than they do other mothers. It feels as if I have to work harder because I wanted it more than the average woman.

I also live in my head more than I thought I ever would. From time to time I’m questioning if I’m doing everything right. Is the baby’s nose always clean, is he meeting every bench mark or is he he eating healthy enough! I know this is definitely a new mom thing but there is still an element of infertility associated with it.

What’s also frustrating is that all of my good friends kids are grown. So it’s hard for them to relate to me as a new mom. So while we are ecstatic to have our bundle of joy all of our friends kids are off to college.

The other thought is how to continue to build our family. IVF is hard and adoption is expensive. So will our baby be an only child or will we endeavor this difficult path once again??


The above was a submission to the Egg’s 2015 NIAW Project “Behind Closed Doors”.  If you would like to submit a post on what goes on behind the scenes of YOUR fertility journey.  Please consider sharing a submission by emailing me at Regina@thebrokenbrownegg.org

Submissions 2015

Opening The Door On…Infertility & Depression

Opening The Door On - Infertility and DepressionThe following is an anonymous submission for The Egg’s 2015 National Infertility Awareness Week Blog Project, #BehindClosedDoors.  This brave and powerful entry is one that will resonate with many, and one that I had to share.  THANK YOU to the Eggshell who sent it in, because she could be saving someone’s life with it.

If you are experiencing dark thoughts and need someone to talk to, please seek help. GoodTherapy.org offers a great search tool that will allow you to find help near you that specializes in the cares and concerns of those afflicted by infertility.   Remember “You Are Not Alone”.

Regina


A month or so ago I actually tried to take my own life.  I wasn’t strong enough to explain it here or anywhere else.  I did write it out though, and I’m posting it now.  My journey will never give anyone hope because…well I’m not pregnant and I never will be.  But maybe my journey will save someone else from letting themselves lapse into a despair that seems insurmountable.  Anyway, I don’t remember the exact date or time, but below is what I wrote about it.

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BrokenBrownBelle: “The other side of my infertility” Part 4

Apologies for the delay, but even a year later, this post seems to be RIGHT on time.
The final installment of BrokenBrownBelle’s journey to her daughter, Buttercup. (more…)

Is this fair? Empathy and Prayers *BrokenBrownBellePost*

So, I was in prayer for our sisters in Japan when the FedFX guy interrupted by banging on my office door.  I knew it was him, I was expecting him. But I had forgotten that I was expecting him. He was there to give me a rush delivery of Repronex injections.  By the time I got to the door I was loaded with guilt and sadness, because of the prayers that I’d just finished. (more…)

Guest Post: Why We Don’t Adopt

ADOPTION!!! What are the first words that come to your mind when I say it, “Family, babies, happiness or expensive, heartbreaking and time consuming”? Many people have different assumptions about adoption and many of those assumptions are incorrect. I really felt I should write something about the myths and stereotypes about adoption in the African American community and clear a few things.

Black people don’t give away their babies

Stop!!! First, a woman does not give away her baby. She is making a brave and courageous decision to give her child a life that she is unable to give. I’ve worked with many women from every background. All the years I’ve worked in adoption, I never met a woman who “wants” to do an adoption. It’s usually her life circumstances that force her to make this hard decision.

And why don’t Black women place their child for adoption? We have to struggle and work as hard as any other women out there. And unfortunately sometimes life does not give a fair start. Usually when a Black woman makes the decision to place her child for adoption she wants her child to go into a Black family. (There is nothing wrong with a Black child going to a Caucasian family, but I’m speaking from my experience.) BUT there aren’t any Black families to adopt! Why?  I know Black folks experience infertility or have to find other alternatives to build their families. Why aren’t we also looking at the option of adoption?  I’ll tell you why, because of all the misconceptions and bad information. Let’s set the record straight, there are healthy Black babies out there in need of good homes, we shouldn’t be lacking good Black families.

Adoption is expensive….

Again my people, this is incorrect information. Did you know that there is a $13,000 tax credit for families that have adopted? Also, because of the lack of Black families willing to adopt, most agencies are willing to have the cost drastically lowered compared to the average adoption. I know so many little tricks that could make your adoption so affordable, it would be cheaper than having a c-section at the hospital.

It takes a long time to adopt….

As mentioned above, there are Black women wanting to give their child a good home, but there is a lack of Black families. The time it would take for a Black family to adopt would probably be around six months or less. (Can’t guarantee this, but can say this with a lot of confidence.)

She will come back and take her baby…

Don’t always listen to what you hear on the news. That’s like saying every airplane that flies will crash. Look, there are hundreds of adoptions that happen each day and the news will pick up on the 1 out of 1,000 bad adoptions. Adoptions are safe and agencies are bound by confidentiality. A woman cannot legally show up on your doorstep and demand her child back.

I want our children to go into good homes, and I don’t want Black women to be discouraged because they are not able to find the family they want for their child. So before listening to bad information, take some time to learn the truth and consider adoption as an option.

Chala Barrington-Cruz is the founder and Executive Director of Adoption Consultants of Florida.  If you have any question please call or email chala@adoptionconsultantsfl.com or 407-850-8346. Visit Adoption Consultants of Florida facebook page for adoption discussions and tips.

Guest Post – Using ART to Start Your Family: An Industry Insider’s Tips on Managing Your Treatment

There has been an amazing influx of people seeking information!  Though I hate that there are so many people who need this info, I’m glad to see that there are those who have gained the courage to speak out and ask for it! Anywhoo, recently I had the pleasure of meeting a professional who I just love, Mindy Berkson of Lotus Blossom Consulting, an infertility consultant who everyday makes headway in teaching people how to build their families.  Aside from lending her services to the A.H.A gala in September Smiley , Mindy has also provided The Egg with some amazing advice.  For whatever reason, Blogger is being a jerk about me copying her outstanding article into the blog, but I have uploaded it into Scribd! (take that Blogger! Photobucket )Enjoy it and pass it on!

Fourteen years ago, I was confronted with my own infertility struggles: after having a successful first pregnancy, my husband and I were not able to get pregnant a second time and I was eventually diagnosed with unknown secondary infertility. Over several years’ time, I wentthrough numerous insemination cycles and several in vitro fertilization cycles before becoming pregnant with twin boys. Treatment was difficult, both physically and emotionally and at times strained what was, until then, a very happy union.

Going through all this instilled in me a desire to help others through their own infertility cycles,and eventually lead me to start my own company, Lotus Blossom Consulting. What I present in this article are the lessons I learned not only from my own treatment, but also the sum of over fourteen years’ experience working in the industry and walking with others through their cycles. I hope that this toolbox of ideas and pointers helps you as much as it does all my other clients.

Using ART to Achieve a Family


About Mindy Berkson and Lotus Blossom Consulting

As one of the first infertility consultancies in the United States, Lotus Blossom Consulting, LLC was founded by MindyBerkson in 2005. With more than a decade of experience at physician’s offices, and egg donor and surrogacy agencies, Berkson assists individuals working through the often-challenging roadblocks of infertility, by providing thebest information and resources available to them from around the world – all in one location.


Lotus Blossom Consulting works with individuals on a case-by-case basis, taking into consideration clients’emotional, physical and financial infertility issues and then develops an individualized, comprehensive plan, to helpclients make informed decisions and pull together a team of unbiased professionals to accomplish a treatment cycle. 


Mindy is a sought-after infertility expert and has appeared on countless media programs and speaker panels educating audiences on the topic of infertility, egg banking and surrogacy. For more information about Lotus BlossomConsulting, LLC, call toll free (877) 881-2685, email mindy@lotusblossomconsulting.com or visit the web atwww.lotusblossomconsulting.com or http://www.infertilityconsultant.com

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