Voice Behind The Egg

 

Regina

 

Welcome!

My name is Regina Townsend and I am the founder of The Broken Brown Egg.  Being a black woman, I quickly found, was a very quiet life in infertility.  I believe that should change, so that no one else will have to feel like the lone wolf of their family.

Infertility is lonely enough without feeling like a minority inside of a minority.

My husband and I have been hanging around infertility-ville for almost a decade. Our great vacation into this loony bin is due to PCOS, Hypothyroidism, blocked fallopian tubes, and Type 2 diabetes.   We’ve dabbled with pill abuse (Clomid), lied to all our family members, “NO, we are NOT nearly ready for children!”, and most recently we took a painful trip into parenting purgatory (Foster Care/Kinship Placement).  Currently, we are in the preliminary stages of IVF.

Librarian by profession and writer by passion, I consider writing and reading to be one of the most personal forms of communication, entertainment and education.  I could think of no better way to advocate for this cause which has been silent far too long.  I hope you enjoy your visit.

As a social media fanatic, I’ve been found in a few other places as well.

Blog Sites
Twitter Accounts
A Few Fun Facts About Regina

Thanks for your support!  Feel free to contact me anytime!  If there is something I don’t know, I make it my business to put you in touch with someone who does.

21 Comments on Voice Behind The Egg

  1. Dawn Dahmer
    September 17, 2010 at 11:13 pm (7 years ago)

    Hi Tiye, I’m a St. Louisan and my hubby and I have been trying for the last 4 years. I had one miscarriage (2007)and one ectopic pregnancy (2010). It’s been very frustrating. I have fibroid tumors and one blocked fallopian tube on opposite side of fibroids. I’ve been going back and forth to doctors, fertility specialists, etc. All doctors have concluded not to remove my fibroids because it can create scar tissue, plus as of recently per a sonohystogram? (ultrasound) my fertility specialist said the fibroids were not in my uterus cavity so that is good. I’ve tried chlomid and one artificial insemination that didn’t work..some friends said don’t do the fertility treatments cause it’s not Godly, some say do..of course none of them are in my shoes..I’m glad you have this website and this is encouragement to me. Thanks so much!!!

    Reply
    • Profile photo of Mrs.Tiye
      Mrs.Tiye
      September 19, 2010 at 8:13 pm (7 years ago)

      Thank you for this note Dawn!!! Oh my have you been through a test. First, I’m glad you found this site, if there’s anything I can do, I will most certainly try. Secondly, I found it quite interesting that you say your friends are hitting you with the “god card”. I’m so sorry about that. It is very hard to work this issue into a religious mold but I will say this,
      YES you are right about them not being in your shoes! Also, I personally believe in the Bible. Because I believe in the Bible, I also believe that everything in it was put there to guide me and encourage me. I see no reason for it to have included so many stories of infertility if it were not something we were going to encounter. I think it is a very dangerous road we walk when we try and tell others what God would or wouldn’t want. Sometimes I think people forget that its the same God who’s given the doctors the skill and intelligence to make the medicines and treatments that help us! There are still miracles, they just manifest now as IVF and IUI. Be encouraged sis! If you need anything, grab me.

      Reply
    • CL
      April 25, 2011 at 5:34 pm (6 years ago)

      Hi Dawn,
      I stumbled on to this site thanks to National Infertility Awareness Week.
      You story is similar to mine; I’ve had fibroids, severely blocked tubes, hydros and 2 major surgeries. In addition to my list, I’ve had 2 biochemical, 3 negatives, and 2 miscarriages…Uggg!!! Doctors also told me that my fibroids would not pose a problem because my fibroids were not in my cavity, and they did not recommend surgery because of scar tissue. But after 2 miscarriage, tons of research and other tests to rule out a genetic issues the final conclusion were my nasty fibroids. I found a doctor in the Washington DC area who can remove fibroids laparoscopically with little scar tissue and little time out of work. I was back to work after 8 days and he removed 5 fibroids, a ton of scar tissue, my hydro and an ovarian cyst. WHOA!!!! I can’t wait to cycle again in October, because in my heart after everything, I think my fibroids and scar tissue might be playing a part in my infertility.
      I wish you the best, you’re not alone.
      Here is the doctor’s website http://www.womenssurgerycenter.com

      Reply
  2. LaShone
    September 23, 2010 at 11:08 am (7 years ago)

    Hi Tiye, I live in the Chicagoland area and attended Columbia College. I suffer with fibroids 5yrs ago I had surgery to improve my chances but,still no luck. My fibroids are on the comeback and I refuse to go under the knife again but, I really want a family. I thought about adoption but,my heart really wants a biological child and my husband feels the same way. I’ve lost a few friends because they didn’t understand my frustration and was told all I need to do was “realx”!!! I told them it may seem easy for them but,it’s a percentage of women of color that goes through this struggle but it’s not reported. Sometimes I feel I waited too late to have children and I’m being punished for waiting into my 30’s. I feel pushed against a wall because time isn’t on my side and I want to have children. That is one exsperience of being a woman I don’t want to miss out on. I found your site and feel very relieved that I’m not alone in the struggle. Thank you so much……

    Reply
    • Profile photo of Mrs.Tiye
      Mrs.Tiye
      October 2, 2010 at 2:11 am (6 years ago)

      Hi Lashone! ALRIGHT COLUM.EDU!! Glad to see a Chi-Town chick!

      I’m so sorry to hear about your fibroid issues. First of all, I want to applaud you for being honest with yourself and your husband about what you want. Having a biological child is a natural desire, and that’s what I keep trying to impress upon those who would rather insult those of us dealing with infertility.
      Don’t give up hope.
      Not ever.
      If you don’t at least TRY, you’ll regret it for the rest of your life.

      I also want to say, RUN from that feeling of having waited too long. That is neither here nor there, at this point. What you have to do now is develop a plan, and move toward executing it.
      You are absolutely not alone!!
      Let me know if there’s something I can research or find out for you! Thanks for coming by!!

      Reply
  3. @NubianSymphony
    December 6, 2010 at 2:22 pm (6 years ago)

    Hello Mrs. Tiye,
    I started following you on twitter because of your handle and how rare this subject is highlighted in the black community. I married at the age of 25 and suffered infertility throughout the marriage. I have a daughter from a previous relationship and felt frustrated, for the most part, at my inability to conceive again. This issue was especially hard for my husband and infertility eventually broke up our uncomfortable home. I’m soo happy to see that someone is willing to speak on the issue of infertility. Now at my age, I spend time lying to myself about wanting another child and have resigned to the possibility of being a wonderful mom to the only child I have. Keep up the good work and continue to give a voice to women like me.

    Reply
    • Profile photo of Mrs.Tiye
      Mrs.Tiye
      December 6, 2010 at 2:37 pm (6 years ago)

      Oh My! Thank you so much!! These comments are what make me keep running my mouth! LOL
      I’m so sorry this thing caused disruption in your home. Unfortunately, our marriages are some of the causalities that are continually left out of the debate. I encourage you to think hard and honestly about what you want to do as far as moving towards more children. Whatever you decide, I wish you all the best!

      Reply
  4. Lele
    January 25, 2011 at 8:36 pm (6 years ago)

    Hi Mrs. Tiye! Wow, I’m so amazed and glad to find this site. I recently started a blog to help with my insanity after tryin to conceive since October 2009 with my hubby of now 3 1/2 years. I started it mainly to put real thoughts about how just another “round the way” girl was dealing with infertility because yes, we as Black people looked at infertility as something Black people don’t really deal with. I’m proud you have started this and I will definitely be coming for sisterly support. If you have time, check out my blog at justanothergirlttc.blogspot.com Be blessed! : )

    Reply
    • Profile photo of Mrs.Tiye
      Mrs.Tiye
      January 26, 2011 at 9:48 am (6 years ago)

      Hey Lele! Welcome to Blogland. I welcome all new voices we get to the fight for advocacy and honesty. I did check out your blog last night and it’s added to my “Brown Blogs” page!! I hope that drives some support your way.

      PS…LOVE the “Just Another Girl on the IRT” spin on your blog name. LOL One of my faves.

      Reply
  5. Lele
    January 26, 2011 at 1:41 pm (6 years ago)

    Thank you lovely! Keep up the excellent work! PS…LOL, yes girl, one of my faves too!

    Reply
  6. Kesha
    February 23, 2011 at 1:05 pm (6 years ago)

    Hi Tiye,
    I am a Chicagoan, in the first two years of my marriage and dealing with infertility. I often feel very lonely as a Black woman with POF (Premature Ovarian Failure also know as Primary Ovarian Insufficency). I was diagnosed at the age of 32 and I am now 38 years old. I was reading the “That Chick” article and it is so on point that sterotypes about Black sexuality make Black infertility invisable. Infertility is not something that other’s can see in the first place so it makes it even more difficult when there are not safe spaces to discuss it.

    I am so glad I surfed over. Thank you for what you are doing and keep up the good work! I think you have access to my email address, if so I would love to network since you are local. I attend a support group, have visited specialist and have other resources I would be happy to share. Also, by way of sharing hope, I have two friends with PCOS who have built natural families. Prayers to you for healthy and happiness.

    Peace,
    Kesha

    Reply
    • Profile photo of Mrs.Tiye
      Mrs.Tiye
      February 24, 2011 at 11:47 am (6 years ago)

      Hey Kesha! I’m glad you surfed over too! I am actually working on a few events in the Chicago area in the spring and fall. I’ll be sure and drop you a line! Thanks so much for your encouraging words, I hope you visit again soon!

      Reply
  7. Mrs. Stringfellow
    April 8, 2011 at 2:58 pm (6 years ago)

    Hello Mrs. Tiye,

    I just wanted you to know that I love what you are doing!!!

    Reply
    • Profile photo of Mrs.Tiye
      Mrs.Tiye
      April 12, 2011 at 8:25 am (6 years ago)

      Thanks Keisha!!

      Reply
  8. Mrs. Jones
    April 12, 2011 at 2:32 pm (6 years ago)

    Hi Mrs. Tiye,

    I was so excited to come across a mention of your blog in a recent article! As an african american I have been unable to find groups where I could discuss infertility. Everywhere I went in Chicago catered to the uber professional caucasian females who waited until they were in their 40’s to conceive. So, me and “hubs” went into this pretty blind. We had tried to conceive for two years with a ectopic during our first year. When I finally faced the facts that I was getting further from my reproductive window (the constant articles everywhere willdo that to you), we moved forward with the Feritilty Clinic of Illinois. A very scary and fragile time for us because we had KNOWONE to discuss this with!!!! The shots involved-SCARY!! I didn’t go to medical school, how did they expect me to mix my own meds???? After overmedicating myself on the first try 🙂 we made it to our first egg retrieval and embryo transfer (3 embryos-this had hubs shook-he kept thinking John and Kate Plus 8). I am happy and blessed to announce that we are currently pregnant with one little bean! I wish I had known about your sight because I was always looking around the room during my appointments to see someone who looked like me, but never did.

    Reply
  9. Mrs.Davis
    August 2, 2011 at 7:50 pm (6 years ago)

    Hi!

    Mister. and I have been trying to have a baby sweet potato for about 2 years. I had a HSG and surgery to remove fibroids last year, so this year I knew we were ready…that’s a lie. Went to the doctor last month to discover I have 2 new fibroids and cycsts on both ovaries. We went to the fertility clinic today and, I think they were shocked to see a black couple with dificulties in that area. The meeting was ok but, I want to have a baby the natural way. I told my husband I’m willing to take some of the drugs, do the IUI but, IVF is out of the question.

    We are praying to be baking a sweet potato by the end of the year! Sweet potatos are my favorite, so all kids are sweet potatos to me!

    Reply
  10. Lightning
    November 15, 2011 at 5:03 am (5 years ago)

    Hi Tiyee,
    Came across this page while looking for infertility treatments. I am a Pakistani, and hence, perhaps not eligible to be here…however, i just wanted to share my own experience with u. I too have had a year and a half of being infertile, I too have PCOS and Hypothyroidism (Hashimoto’s disease)….after seeing 10 doctors (gyno’s, RE’s and even a rheumatologist) I am now pregnant. I also took lots of clomid, and just before i got pregnant, my TSH and Free T3 and T4 were totally deranged, and thyroid antibodies were way out of range…
    Anyways, the thing that worked for me was asprin. i ws given baby asprin by a rheumatologist for helping me lower my antibody levels, as she thought it ws that which is making me super-immune n rejecting sperm n a possible pregnancy…it worked for me the same month..maybe u can ask your doctor for that too….
    loads of love n prayers for u and your ‘dude’
    and baby dust!!

    Reply
  11. Dr. Deborah Simmons
    April 26, 2014 at 12:05 pm (3 years ago)

    Regina, thank you so much for your blog! I have been working in the infertility world since 1999 and here in Minneapolis/St. Paul, I have seldom see women of color. Your voice is so important. I will be sharing your information on my blog at http://www.drdeborahsimmons.com.

    Reply
    • Profile photo of Mrs.Tiye
      Mrs.Tiye
      May 1, 2014 at 1:17 pm (3 years ago)

      Thank you for sharing! People seem to not realize that this is the case. Even my own doctor has told me how hard it is to not only get women of color to admit to the issue, but also to follow-through with just the preliminary testing.

      Reply

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