So, I’ve always been a big girl. Not necessarily HUGE, but I damn sure wasn’t a cheerleader. Again, this is something that isn’t altogether unheard of in the black community. Our community glorifies big butts and smiles. We talk all the time about down home cooking and grandmama recipes and we proclaim skinny bitches to be evil so that we can feel good about ourselves in our Ashley Stewart/Lane Bryant apparel.
And that’s cool. It’s great to see so many women be comfortable with their bodies nowadays. BUT, not if that woman is looking to have a baby.
As a woman who is pretty tall, my frame can support more weight than that of my shorter counterparts. And unlike most anorexics or other “big girls”, I usually see myself as pretty okay as long as my clothes look nice.
But that is NOT enough. Looking good in your clothes is just that, looking good IN your clothes. It is not necessarily healthy.
In the infertility game, this is also a struggle because its hard NOT to eat when you are so emotionally tossed around. I go up and down with this thing and my weight and I have to do better.
My doctor said something so profound to me today. She said, “We rush around all the time and don’t eat, then we go into starvation mode and what we eat gets stored instead of burned, and its one of the ways we show ourselves that we aren’t worthy. IF we thought we were worth it, and didn’t take ourselves for granted, we would take better care of ourselves” WOW.
So, my urge to my BBE sistas today is to fully investigate your body health. You’re worth it! And on the fertility aspect, if you were buying an apartment that was BEAUTIFUL on the outside but the former renter had left all kinds of junk lying around that you were UNABLE to move, would you rent the place? Well, how do you think a KID would feel trying to grow fingers and whatnot in a junky body?